


That's a Fucked Up Way to Treat a Kid

by nicolai



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Child Abuse, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 18:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15030932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicolai/pseuds/nicolai
Summary: Deadpool gets into mischief, Colossus gets annoyed. Set when he's in the mansion healing in Deadpool 2.





	That's a Fucked Up Way to Treat a Kid

“Wade!” Colossus thundered from his room before stomping off to find the misbehaving mutant. He was positive that he’d left his wallet on top of his dresser while he went to take a shower, as he was planning on running some errands immediately after. And it was inconceivable that Negasonic Teenage Warhead had taken it. 

“Your license photo is hilarious, would it kill you to smile?” Deadpool remarked, spinning around in his chair to face him; the contents of Colossus’s wallet were spread out over his lap, “And I can’t believe you don’t carry a condom! Pretty irresponsible!” 

“Wallet. Now,” Colossus held out a hand, taking several deep breaths. He could flatten Deadpool if he wanted; he was in pajamas and not ready for a fight, but he would still recover. So, he didn’t really need to restrain himself nearly as much as he did with most people, but he did not want violence to be a part of his reactions to him. For one thing, it would only encourage him. 

Deadpool tossed the black leather wallet, as traditional as expected, into Colossus’s outstretched hand, empty. “You look like a 1-2-3-4 kinda guy,” he laughed, “You don’t mind a few charges, right? Maybe just some skin mags and coke? You know dealers take cards now?”

“Wade,” he glared a warning down at him and tossed the wallet back, then folded his arms across his chest. “Put cards back in wallet. Now. I am in hurry.” 

Deadpool raised his eyebrows at the commanding tone, “I don’t think so, Tin Man. Pick them up yourself,” he picked up Colossus’s belongings in both hands and tossed them in both directions from his chair. He’d been having fun with his harmless prank, but he wouldn’t be ordered around. 

Colossus’s patience was wearing thin and he nodded agreement to himself to give in to temptation. If Deadpool was going to be this determined to provoke him, perhaps it would be better to respond and show him that he couldn’t get away with it. 

“Fine,” he nodded, crossing the room between them in two steps and grabbing Deadpool’s wrist in an inescapable iron grasp, “You want to act like child. I will treat you like child.” He pulled the other man up from the seat, lifting him into the air by the arm, then sat down and draped him over his lap. 

“I mean, okay, but that’s a pretty fucked up way to treat a kid,” Deadpool shrugged, not bothering to struggle; he didn’t have a knife to amputate what Colossus had hold of, fighting back made no difference, and he kind of wanted to see if he’d actually spank him.

“What?” Colossus had expect resistance, but not from that angle, “Discipline is good for child. It builds character and guides to the right path.” 

“What is it with you and “building character”?” Deadpool laughed, “I know I didn’t hear you say that in the first movie, but you’re, like, freakishly committed to being good and using tragedy as motivation. What shit are you working through?” 

“Answer question,” Colossus declined to respond to his rambling. 

Deadpool shrugged again and settled more comfortably over his lap, putting more of his weight on his elbow on the edge of the seat so that his ribs didn’t dig into his metal thighs as much. “Hitting kids is fucked up. There’s no reason for it. Nobody learns by getting hit. Like, if you wanna beat me, fine. I made you mad. I get that. But it’s only gonna be you being mad-” he cut off to hiss through his teeth when Colossus brought his hand down firmly on the seat of his pants. 

Colossus wasn’t sure why he felt so much anger at the challenge, but he gave himself over to it, as his stress had been mounting. He kept a tight hold on Deadpool’s arm to keep him in place and swatted his butt repeatedly, rhythm nearly mechanical. Each stroke was hard enough to bruise, but he was trying to keep the damage superficial. 

“Goddamn!” Deadpool grumbled, “You know you’re made of metal right?? It’s not a hand spanking. There’s no fucking give. You’re basically hitting me with a shovel, you fucking dick.” 

“Language!” Colossus roared, crushing Deadpool’s forearm in his hand and pulling his pants down to escalate the spanking. “Complain, complain, complain. You never stop talking!” He hit him harder, branching a bit down his thighs. 

“Ugh, make me go get a belt or something, daddy,” Deadpool joked, though his eyes were beginning to water, “You’re gonna break my fucking pelvis.” 

“You treat your father with such disrespect?” Colossus snapped, striking down over the bruises he’d already made. 

After a moment of uncharacteristic silence, Deadpool shook his head. 

As it was a rhetorical question, Colossus hadn’t been expecting a response, “”No”? What?” his confusion tempered his anger and he paused the beating. 

“No, I didn’t disrespect him like that,” Deadpool explained with a sigh, hoping Colossus wouldn’t notice the few tears that had fallen to the carpet, “I was afraid to, at least when he was hitting me. I didn’t really like to be myself around him.” That was more emotionally vulnerable than he’d like to be with anyone but Vanessa, but it was what it was. 

Colossus nodded, gently loosening his grip. It was a good reminder of who he was dealing with. They all had pasts to deal with, but, listening to Wade talk and knowing what he knew, he would have guessed that he’d never known care or stability. “I’m sorry. A son shouldn’t have to be afraid of his father.” 

Deadpool struggled to his feet with some difficulty. His healing was already starting to take care of the injuries, it was all soft tissue damage, after all. But he’d still felt every blow and it was still sore and likely would be a bit for the next hour or so. This hadn’t turned out as sexually interesting as he’d hoped and he avoided Colossus’s gaze. He was embarrassed to be emotional or affected at all over something so mild. “Yeah, well. Fathers should accept their sons then. And not hit them.” He pulled up his pants.

Colossus frowned; Wade wasn’t teasing or joking and, now that his anger had cooled, he wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing. Scanning his face only added to his uncertainty. “You were crying.” 

Deadpool laughed and looked at him, “Yeah, not exactly the fluid I expected to be losing, but, y’know. You hit really hard. And that’s not really like a fight,” he shrugged, “I’m fine.” He quirked a characteristic smirk, “Unless you wanna kiss it all better?” 

Colossus felt reassured, but opened his arms to offer a hug. Deadpool was touchy, way more than he was usually comfortable with, so perhaps that would help make it up to him. He’d started thinking about what he said and was a little alarmed at what he felt might be so. He didn’t like the idea of Wade being afraid of his father. And it made sense that he’d feel that way as a child. But he’d been taught that discipline was important and it had been his own fault when he felt hurt or scared over it. But perhaps there was a different way of looking at it. 

Deadpool stepped into the offered hug, wrapping his arms around Colossus’s neck. He stood between his legs and rested his weight against him. “I’d ask if that was your wallet or if you’re just happy to see me, but, uh, I know where that is,” he gestured to the mess, “I’m sorry. I was just bored.” 

“It is okay,” Colossus smiled, patting his back softly, “I should have just picked them up.” It was better to ignore the joke for the moment, besides, no one else was around to be made uncomfortable. “We’re friends, Wade. I’m sorry if I did not act like it.” 

“It’s okay, daddy,” Deadpool winked and pressed his hand against the front of his pants, gripping his penis, “Seriously, how do you even tell when you get hard??” 

Colossus gently moved his hand off of him, “Why is “daddy” sexual thing? This is what young one calls their father.” 

“You don’t watch a lot of porn, do you?” Deadpool chuckled, “It’s this whole thing. I’ll send you some links.” 

“Don’t. Please.” Colossus shook his head; he already had too much to think about. He didn’t need to add anything like that.


End file.
